The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
What's this?! Two episodes in a row featuring Applejack?! Sign me up! This is too good to be true!
- Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town
- Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
- Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair
- That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage you and I will share
- [Flim and Flam]
- Well you've got opportunity
- In this very community
- He's Flim
- He's Flam
- [Flim and Flam]
- We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
- Traveling salesponies nonpareil
Oh, no... It is too good to be true! This episode made me deal with the most annoying, God-awful antagonists in the entire series - traveling salesmen. I tell ya, you really just can't top that.
But pardon me for jumping too far ahead and I haven't begun to introduce us to this hellhole of an episode yet. So it's apple cider season in Ponyville and apparently Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie compete every year for the first of the season.
Oh, and this apple cider comes in mugs, meaning it's homemade and exceptionally stronger than the kinds in jugs that anyone can buy at a store or something.
"Wait, what kind of cider is that again? Homemade? How strong is it? Why is it in a kids' show?!"
Beats me, the Chazz. But I'd best hurry and get this episode over with so as not to dwindle on it, because believe it or not, it's practically one of the most pointless episodes in the entire series.
So the cider supply runs out just before Rainbow Dash can get some and everyone starts complaining.
Pinkie Pie won't even shut up and is far too oblivious to care that she got some first and rubs it all over Rainbow Dash's face.
And that's when the antagonists that no one is supposed to be taking seriously come along and introduce themselves in the biggest song and dance in the whole series.
Their song makes heavy references to the song "Ya Got Trouble" from The Music Man and being three minutes and 51 seconds in length, it had to be the longest song in the whole series. Of all the songs, why did these two buffoons have to hog all the air time? Okay, so they're brothers, their names are Flim and Flam (their joke names are not a good thing), and they've got this...
- [Flim and Flam]
- Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Ugh... sorry about that.
Now they claim to be able to solve the problems of running out of cider by using this machine to make their own apple cider and quench the thirsts of everyone in Ponyville. It turns out to be just as tasty as the kind the Apple family makes.
But the worst part of the musical number is that these two bastards are able to sucker in everyone, save the Apple family of course.
Now here's what makes them antagonists, and rightfully so. Because Applejack, Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith all refuse to allow Flim and Flam to help them, they threaten to use their machine to drive Sweet Apple Acres out of business.
Now let me get this straight. Flim and Flam are traveling salesmen, meaning they can come and go wherever as they please, and whoever doesn't cooperate with them, they compete with and threaten to make other business pale in comparison?
So it's no wonder traveling salesmen suck. And as far as antagonists in this series go, they just don't get any worse than this dumb-headed duo. So Granny Smith stupidly strikes a deal with Flim and Flam, that whoever produces the most amount of apple cider in an hour claims the deed to Sweet Apple Acres.
Twilight has confidence that Applejack can win the competition, but if you remember the issue that I discussed last episode, it's obvious that she's not going to win. But something's gotta give in light of all this, right? Otherwise, Hasbro runs the risk of the series going downhill.
If you remember everything Flim and Flam have said so far, then you'll know that they utilize tactics of speed and quantity as opposed to the Apple family's tactics of love and quality, regardless of how fast they make it. Once again, the old saying "slow and steady wins the race", just like the episode "May the Best Pet Win!", comes into play here.
So the contest goes through and all of Applejack's friends are allowed to help, Flim and Flam believing that man cannot outrun machine. Obviously, they have not heard the legend of John Henry because the moment everyone steps in to help, they seem to be besting them.
At this point, the brothers are desperate to take over Sweet Apple Acres, never mind that they're traveling salesmen, so they make the mistake of disabling their machine's quality control to make even more cider. They win the contest, and just when it seems like they're about to take over the farm...
- Cherry Berry: I can't get the taste off my tongue!
- Sweetie Drops: Mine's got rocks in it.
- Comet Tail: I wouldn't pay one bit for this dreck!
So Flim and Flam are bested and run out of Ponyville, seemingly as if they're no strangers to it, the Apple family gets to stay, the result of the pointless contest made more than enough apple cider for everyone, and the episode ends with the most unnecessary statement ever written in the entire series.
- Applejack: Dear Princess Celestia. I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I didn't learn anythin'! Ha! I was right all along! If you take your time to do things the right way, your work will speak for itself. Sure I could tell you I learned something about how my friends are always there to help me, and I can count on them no matter what, but truth is, I knew that already too.
Ugh... This was pretty bad, I daresay. A pointless episode with a pointless plot and two pointless antagonists who give themselves too much credit... It's still not half as bad as the Season 2 finale, but it really isn't good either.
Not to mention, it's all topped off by a pointless letter to Princess Celestia that never had to be written. So this goes down in history as one of the worst episodes in Season 2... maybe even the whole series.