Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Thunder on Adam "Galaxy Star" Smith

The first brony suicide I've heard of.  Do I still call bronies perverts and pedophiles?  Of course I do!  I'm an anti-brony!  But I don't target individuals, especially if they have social problems.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Thunder Discusses Phineas and Ferb: "Christmas Vacation"

Hey, guys.  I didn't originally intend to discuss anything from the Phineas and Ferb Season 2 episode "Christmas Vacation", but seeing as it's close to the holiday season and I'm pretty much in a good mood as of now, I think I'll chip in my two cents on this holiday classic.  Now like my discussion of "Night of the Living Pharmacists", this isn't much of a review so much as pointing out a few things and nitpicking here and there.

First off, I'm willing to bet this is now considered an underrated holiday classic that not many people will pay attention to, which is fair enough considering that Disney Channel now has Gravity Falls.  But I should mention the most important part of this classic that Dan and Swampy focused on.  This is in fact a Christmas special that is meant to fixate on the appreciation of Santa Claus and everything he does for children all over the world.  I don't care if Santa Claus actually doesn't exist for two reasons.  One, he does exist in this special.  And two... well... just humor me, will ya?  I can't think of any other Christmas special that actually has anything relating to showing appreciation to Santa Claus.  This 2009 should-be timeless classic is really the only Christmas cartoon, maybe the only Christmas special that spells "Santa appreciation".  Hell, the last song in the episode is called "Thank You Santa"!  How much more appreciative of jolly old Saint Nick can you get?

So in the special, the two stepbrothers feel that Santa Claus deserves to be appreciated for all the great things he does and being able to fly around the world in one night, assuming he leaves prior to noon on Christmas Eve in order to start with Japan.  They rally not only their friends, but everyone in Danville, to help turn their city into a gigantic thank you card.  But trouble brews when Dr. Doofenshmirtz activates his Naughty-inator and enshrouds Danville in a dark cloud of naughtiness in the hopes that Santa will skip it and cancel Christmas for the residents.  However, it turns out that Santa rigged and planned everything to not only grant everyone's Christmas wish, including giving Phineas a chance to be like him, but to actually spend a little more time at Phineas and Ferb's house.  Apparently the boys had built him an exotic rest stop and Santa just couldn't pass up the offer.  How did he know all this?  He's Santa Claus!

Phineas gets the chance to play the role as Santa by doing a Danville run with his friends using a specially-built sleigh and flying around the city, delivering gifts with the help of Blay'n and Clewn't, two of Santa's elves.  After the Naughty-inator gets short-circuited by a loud Christmas carol, Danville is no longer branded naughty, but of course Santa had already left the North Pole, possibly hours ago assuming he tackles Japan first.  So like I said, everyone gets their Christmas wishes fulfilled and things work out in the end.

Now it's time for some personal nitpicking.  First, there's Candace.  I'm well aware that her character was supposed to be created as a stereotypical hyperactive teenage girl, but I think she has problems in this episode.  For starters, she thinks her younger brothers are at the point where they should have outgrown Santa Claus and for some reason thinks he doesn't exist.  Well, if only she decided to accompany them to the roof after she helped out with saving Christmas for the children of Danville.  Then there's things between her and Jeremy.  She seems to be trying a little too hard to get her boyfriend a really great gift.  Even Jeremy knows she's trying too hard.  I know the holidays can be stressful, but perhaps Candace's behavior is a bit much.

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Now, if you can grasp that, it would make for a very heart-wrenching scene, even coming from her.

And of course, Candace has never been too keen about Phineas and Ferb's summer antics, so she assumes that not only they might have been the cause of the entire city being branded naughty, but also thinks that their Santa appreciation efforts were also considered naughty.  Tough love.  But Clewn't summarizes what really defines generally naughty.

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Take Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes for example.  I consider Calvin to be a genuinely naughty person.  But since Santa doesn't really exist in that comic, he still gets presents because Christmas is about the gift of giving.  That and his parents are always like "Oh, what the hell, it's Christmas".

And speaking of naughty, I'm gonna guess Buford making the naughty list is more of a joke because he's supposed to portray your typical schoolyard bully.  The reason is because this episode reveals that all he really wants for Christmas is to be thought of as nice by his friends.  Now how can a genuinely naughty kid ask for that?  Like I said, Buford being deemed naughty seems more like an episode joke than anything.

So that was my take on "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation"... and I watch it every year.  Does it have problems?  Of course.  Is it the greatest Christmas special?  Probably not, but it should be considered an original Christmas special because of its theme.  And it's mainly because of the theme that I think it still shouldn't be overlooked, assuming it is in exchange for Gravity Falls and anything else on T.V. nowadays.  If I was Doofenshmirtz, I'd say "Curse you, Spongebob and My Little Pony!"  So feel free to check out this classic, which I'm sure is still airing on Disney Channel and Disney XD this holiday season for the sixth year in a row.  Like with many other Christmas specials, it has its moments and this one is at least worth watching.  This is The Thunder, signing off.  Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!


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Thursday, December 11, 2014

Picking Apart "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", Season 4 Episode 24


WARNING!  From this point onward, the following reviews will consist of using EXTREME profanity.  It is advised not to proceed past this point unless you are 21 years of age or older.  Profanity will be used to express personal opinions only, so there can be no one responsible if anyone is immensely offended because you have been warned.  If you can handle large quantities of profanity and you're ready to proceed, by all means do so, but of course at your own risk.

"I used to wonder what friendship could be; until I surpassed those who first showed it to me."

- Russet Burbanks, Fanfiction.net

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Holy Fuck-turds!  How the hell is this possible?!  The unbeatable Wonderbolts, the fucking Mary-Sues who always win...
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...did not take the gold this time?!  Okay, I'm convinced.  I'm reviewing this episode so I can find out just exactly how those cheeky, arrogant, invincible flyers representing fucking Cloudsdale only took home the silver... even if Ponyville surpassed them by a slim margin.  What the fuck happened?


Well, as it turns out, there was all this hype built up for the Equestria Games and it turns out that not only is it one episode, but it's more of a Spike episode instead of showing most of the actual games.  I'm not sure if it's because Dave Polsky wrote this episode or if Meghan McCarthy edited the story so that the games themselves get more of a backseat.  I wonder how the bronies reacted.


So upon arriving at the Crystal Empire, Spike is whisked away by a couple of guards and brought to Princess Cadance.
Crystal Guard: A thousand pardons, O Great and Honorable Spike the Brave and Glorious.

Spike: Huh? Who the what now?
Yeah, when did this happen?


Okay, so this is technically the second time Spike has visited the Crystal Empire because we all know he was pet-sitting in the episode "Games Ponies Play" and no thanks to Corey Powell's writing, he didn't do a good job.  Apparently because Spike is technically the hero who saved the Crystal Empire, he's receiving praise and special treatment.  So... what did he do again?


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Ah, yes.  That.  Wonder if it was worth Twilight fretting over her test.

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So let me get this straight.  Twilight seems to be okay with Spike basking in praise and special treatment and talking like Barbra Streisand, but she doesn't seem to be keen about his fetish for Rarity?  I don't how to feel about that.


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Spike is asked to light the torch at the Equestria Games opening ceremony and he seems to be all for it.  But then when he steps into the arena, he realizes that he has to do it in front of every single denizen in Equestria!  What a chore!
Even the entire Equestrian royalty is here, including Prince Blueblood and the two rulers of Saddle Arabia!  So as you can imagine, poor Spike is a bundle of nerves.  And it doesn't help that Ms. Harshwhinny doesn't give two fucks.

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What a cunt.

Ms. Harshwhinny: [stomps hoof] This is the signal! [stomps hoof] I'm giving you the signal now! Mr. the Dragon!

My God, you bitch!  You fucking cunt!!!
Ms. Harshwhinny: Mr. the Dragon! Would you light the torch already?!

FUCK YOU, BITCH!!

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Spike: I don't know what it is, but I just don't have the stuff today! Did you bring a match?

Ms. Harshwhinny: You're a fire-breathing dragon.

And I bet you talk that way to even autistic children.  You'd sure make a terrible mother, you fucking cunt.

Spike: [coughs] [raspy] Then some cough drops, maybe?

Ms. Harshwhinny: [growls]
Spike: Nevermind. I'll keep trying.
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Look!  Even Luna doesn't care!  Prince Blueblood at least noticed something was up!  Yeah, Prince Blueblood cares more than Luna!  What kind of sick fuck episode is this?!  What have you done, Dave Polsky?!  What have you done?!

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Well, just as Cadance sends for help, Twilight secretly casts a magic spell to light the torch instantly and of course, everyone thinks that Spike did it.  And of course when Twilight tells him what really happened, he's utterly crushed.

I scorn you, Dave Polsky.  I scorn you.

Now to this episode's credit, it does at least show us the Cutie Mark Crusaders' performance carrying the flag to represent Ponyville and the aerial relay event, which previous episodes did focus on.

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Also, I'm gonna guess that maybe someone found out that Twilight lit the torch because the unicorns have to walk through some kind of force field vortex thingy that disables their magic for the remainder of the games.
And of course, no surprise, Spitfire beats Rainbow Dash in the relay, even if it's by a hair, putting Cloudsdale in the lead.

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Spike shoots for a chance at redemption by offering to sing Ponyville's anthem, but because Clousdale is currently in the lead, their anthem plays instead.  And since Spike doesn't know those lyrics, he totally botches up.

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Dave Polsky strikes again, making sure that these child characters always get the receiving end of the butt-monkey trope.

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Spike is now so dejected, he attempts to pack his things and leave early, even opting to stay out of sight until the games are over.  But luckily, Twilight comes to talk some sense into him.

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Okay, I don't care what the circumstance is, and I can understand that Twilight wants to snap Spike out of his funk because he's constantly browbeating himself, but did she really have to be that firm with him?  Really?!  Let's go back a few clicks.  First, Spike wasn't able to light the torch, so Twilight had to fess up that she did it, making him feel crummy enough.  Second, Spike believed he humiliated himself in front of all of Equestria by fucking up the Clousdale anthem and isn't up to facing the spectators again.  I get that he probably needs to be snapped out of what he's going through and face himself.  But considering what had happened to him previously in this episode?  What the fucking hell, Twilight?!  That was practically emotionally forced!  Now let's see this again with yet another...
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Ah, heck.  I'm gonna go for Round 2.
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So the final event is ice archery and without a Ponyville player, Rainbow Dash has to count on Cloudsdale botching up for Ponyville to even have a shot at taking first place.  Really?  Cloudsdale?  Botch up?  Fat chance.

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So just when you think that you're sick and tired of Mary-sues taking over everything, one pony accidentally fires off an ice arrow into the sky and it hits a cloud, turning it into ice and causing it to fall, threatening to crush the arena.  Uh-oh!  Better call Supermare!

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Again, why don't we get Superman?  He could easily push the giant ice cloud safely out of the way!  Instead, we get Spike, who somehow musters up his courage and finally gets his fire breath going.

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HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!


So yes, Spike saves the Crystal Empire a second time, but wouldn't you know it?  He's still wallowing in self-doubt!  My God, get over it!  Can't you see all is forgiven?!  Well, because it's up to Spike to get over his own self-doubt, Cadance offers him the chance to light the closing ceremony fireworks, which she was supposed to do.

And now, here's the shocker.  For real.  Since the Ponyville team somehow acquired the most amount of medals in the end, one more than Cloudsdale to be precise, Ponyville wins the Equestria Games of 2014!

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And Spike successfully sets off the fireworks, bringing the games to a close as well as this episode.  So... what did I think?

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Yep.  Pretty bad.  Awful.  I'd say it's probably up there with one of the worst episodes of Season 4 along with "Leap of Faith", but mainly because of all the butt-hurt that Spike goes through as well as just Ms. Harshwhinny and not because we don't see much of the games themselves.  Ms. Harshwhinny is pretty bad, definitely one of the worst characters in the series, and for even Twilight to have one really bad moment in this episode?  That alone pissed me off.  I don't care if Spike was acting pathetic.  He was having a bad day!  And Twilight came this close to kicking him while he was down.  And for no one to even notice much less care?  That's like bad parenthood right there.  But hey, at least those cocky Wonderbolts finally got their horses' asses handed to them when Ponyville ousted them and Cloudsdale for the gold!  Nice going!

However, I still hope that one day soon, Dave Polsky will be personally ashamed for writing this piece of junk for an episode.  Spike gets butt-hurt, Ms. Harshwhinny is harsh (shut up about her name), and even Twilight is bad in that one scene.  One day, Dave Polsky...  One day.

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Well...  You all know what's coming next time.  The big one.  The Season 4 finale.  And I'm not looking forward to it one little bit.  But... I have to review it... even if it destroys the shit out of me.  No turning back now.  Wish me luck.

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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Picking Apart "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", Season 4 Episode 23


WARNING!  From this point onward, the following reviews will consist of using heavy profanity.  It is advised not to proceed past this point unless you are 18 years of age or older.  Profanity will be used to express personal opinions only, so there can be no one responsible if anyone is greatly offended because you have been warned.  If you can handle profanity and you're ready to proceed, by all means do so.

"I used to wonder what friendship could be; until I surpassed those who first showed it to me."

- Russet Burbanks, Fanfiction.net

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Hey guys, this is The Thunder.  Today we're gonna look at a very interesting episode.  And by interesting, I mean that it was written by an unlikely pair of writers.  Corey Powell and Meghan McCarthy.  Very interesting indeed.  As you may have guessed by now, I almost can't stand most of Meghan McCarthy's work on this series.  There are some episodes such as "Dragonshy" and "The Crystal Empire" where I think she did okay.  Actually, in my opinion, I think "Sweet and Elite" might be her best episode.  But there are episodes and such that I absolutely despise such as the creation of the irredeemable Diamond Tiara and writing the batshit crazy two-parter, "A Canterlot Wedding".  And as many of you know, Corey Powell's first written episode for this series was "Sleepless in Ponyville", which was awesome.  But then she wrote "Just For Sidekicks", and it sucked.  Then she wrote "Rainbow Falls", which didn't suck, but didn't have nearly as much worth as "Sleepless in Ponyville".  So seeing how both these two writers put together this episode, "Inspiration Manifestation", it should be very interesting to see what I think of it.  Let's take a look.


The Ponyville Foal and Filly Fair is set to commence and Rarity is looking forward to contribute a little something... a puppet theater.  Interesting choice.  Unfortunately, for some reason it doesn't end well.


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So this puppeteer pony called Claude, voiced by Jay Brazeau, is completely unsatisfied with the final results for apparently not being mobile and not having enough room.  Spike, for some reason, is just too nice to Rarity by saying that he likes her creation, but Rarity takes Claude's criticism far too seriously and decides not to contribute anything to the fair.
And judging on all the ice cream and Valentine's chocolates she's been eating, she's probably lost her creative motivation altogether.


So Spike, wanting nothing more than to bring Rarity back to her senses, decides to take a trip back to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, without consulting Twilight by the way.  What, was he afraid that Twilight wouldn't help him because she knows about his fetish for Rarity and would assume he's being selfish or something?  What a bitch.
By the way, why is Owlowiscious constantly keeping pads on Spike?  He's just looking around.  I know it's because Spike accidentally uncovers a passage that contains one book apparently filled with dark magic, but before that, wherever Spike looks, whenever he takes a book from a shelf, there he is.  What is he trying to tell him anyway?  Turn back around?  At least Spike is courteous to put the books back.  This is the one episode in which I think Owlowiscious is just getting in the way.  I know Spike chose not to consult with Rarity's friends first, wanting to help her himself, but does Spike really take them for granted?  Or did it just not cross his mind?


Anyway, Spike takes the book filled with dark magic, which is name Inspiration Manifestation, hence the episode's name, completely obliviously to the passage collapsing and becoming unusable, and gives it to Rarity.  She chants the spell, including the apparent words that nullify the effect if you pay attention.

Rarity: "From in the head to out in the world, every thought to action. Hold close this book and through its spell, you'll start a chain reaction. Projecting forth whatever beauty you see. Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free."


So Rarity instantly creates a better puppet theater for Claude and impresses him, but the dark magic begins to take hold of her when she decides to keep the book for herself.  And Owlowiscious is constantly following Spike around, apparently trying to tell him that this isn't a good idea.


And by the time Spike does decide to take the book back, Rarity is even more consumed, deciding to spread her creative touch throughout Ponyville, which is apparently turning everything into high class, including a birthday party.  And poor Spike becomes a sycophant because he's afraid of losing Rarity as a friend, having previously been affectionatey called her "favorite dragon".


I'm not gonna go into too much detail of the things that Rarity does because each scene is just the same formula over and over and over again.  Rarity makes Ponyville worse, Spike is a sycophant, and Owlowiscious is trying to make the Spike get the hint.  It just goes on and on!  And I don't wanna talk about that.


So instead, I'm gonna get right to the important part.  Spike realizes that Rarity has changed for the worst, so he manages to get the book from her and... eats it.  Weird.  But that turns out to be in vain, as Rarity has completely memorized the dark magic and is completely consumed by it.


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But Spike finally musters up his courage and does the one thing he realized he should have done right from the very beginning.

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And the spell releases Rarity from its grip, bringing the madness of the Inspiration Manifestation spell to an end once and for all.  I guess the truth really does set you free.


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I guess the episode was kind of good, maybe more mediocre, but I just didn't understand Owlowiscious at all, particularly during his first scenes.  What exactly was he trying to tell Spike in the beginning?  Consult with Rarity's friends first?  You know, if Spike does take the other ponies for granted, it wouldn't surprise me, considering that he sometimes exists to be the victim of butt-hurt.  So personally, I can't pin much of the blame on him, whether he gets off Scot-free or not.  And having a lot of scenes just present the same exact thing again and again did get a bit tedious.  Oh, well.  At least Rarity and Spike still have their moment in the end.  I'm sure if anything, Spike is trying and having Rarity appreciate it probably a little more fondly than Twilight and not necessarily taking advantage of him is at least heartwarming to--
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Jesus, Twilight!  Of course he doesn't!  Give him a break!


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I'm gonna be brutally honest.  That ending just killed the episode for me.  To Spike's credit, I'm convinced that Twilight and the rest of Rarity's friends would rather let her drown in self-pity instead of actually help her out because she's a 'drama queen'.  That and for some odd reason, Twilight isn't too fond of Spike's fetish for Rarity.  Spike gets little to no credit as a character, he's under-appreciated, his fetish for Rarity is just given a sideways glance when it's actually just like an innocent child crush, and he is intentionally given butt-monkey moments like the Cutie Mark Crusaders, so the little guy definitely deserves way better than what the writers give him.  And I mean more than just being the savior of the Crystal Empire.  At least he got the last laugh in this episode.

Furthermore, why is all this dangerous stuff in Equestria just being kept out of harm's way instead of being demolished?  Okay, Spike gets props for eating the Inspiration Manifestation book, but what about everything else?  The Alicorn Amulet currently resides at Zecora's place where anyone can steal it from.  Even Lord Tirek in the series finale isn't killed off!  He's just imprisoned in the pits of Tartarus and everyone just thinks he's learned his lesson!  What a load!  And really, Twilight?  You think a locked cage that needs only a key can keep anyone from stealing that book?  Actually, whose idea was that anyway?!  Not only is it cliched, but it's not very protective, especially against unicorns who can use magic to easily slip past a locked cage!

Welcome to Equestria, ladies and gentlemen, where friendship trumps!

And like I said before, I'm pretty sure the reason Spike didn't consult Twilight about Rarity is either she would do nothing because of his fetish or that it never crossed his mind, but I'm leaning more towards the former.  After all, who's to say that you can count on others to help you out in a jam?  How else did I pass art school?  I counted on only myself to do work that other students are expected to help out with and just as I expected, in a couple of classes, doing all the work saved my skin.


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Learning to work together on a project is one thing, but another very important lesson to learn is to be prepared to do all the work.  From my personal experiences, it got me through art school.  What's this have to do with Spike?  If you didn't read this review thoroughly enough, kiss it.


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