Thursday, January 29, 2015

Picking Apart "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", Season 4 Episodes 25 & 26 - Act III

WARNING! This post contains explicit content.  It is advised not to proceed unless you are an adult and you really, really mean it.  If you don't want to take me seriously, fine.  But I cannot be responsible for any offense.
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I've worked my way up to this point, so let's see what else makes this nothing but bull-fuck.  Remember that scene I asked you to remember from four episodes ago?

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And now this happens!  Her books!  Her precious books!  The ones that had sentimental meaning to them!  The Daring Do collection!  All of them are gone!  When Meghan McCarthy took away Twilight's library, she took away her books!  It's like saying what Celestia said back in the very first episode, that it's time for her to get her muzzle out of those dusty old books and take some regal authority!  What, were you trying to change that personality about Twilight like the bronies were afraid would happen at the end of Season 3?!  Look, I can understand trolling bronies and possibly wanting to piss them off because they love the show so much, but... THIS?!  Well, if your tweets are trolling, this is raping them with a fucking chainsaw!

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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Picking Apart "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", Season 4 Episodes 25 & 26 - Act II

WARNING! This post contains explicit content.  It is advised not to proceed unless you are an adult and you really, really mean it.  If you don't want to take me seriously, fine.  But I cannot be responsible for any offense.

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So once Discord finally caught on that his ex-friends had been using him right from Day 1, he goes back to his evil ways (yay) and rounds up all the straggling unicorns to put in the meat grinder.  Or rather, have the big, bad Lord Tirek quite literally magically appear for his next feast.

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This whole thing is just as believable as the "love and tolerate" that bronies spew from their lying shit-ass pie holes!  Now there's way more things wrong with this and pretty much everything I've pointed out so far, but even with this hell of a review, I can't go on it forever.  So to move on, we find out that Tirek apparently gains enough strength to go after the Pegasus race and the earth ponies, stripping them of their flight and strength respectively.
Sound like some fan-made villain here?  Eh, it's just a coincidence.  Get over it.  Besides, even that villain was better than this shit!

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With all three pony races incapacitated, it pretty much means no weather, no harvesting, no magic, no nothing.  Now how the fuck does that work?  Is nothing natural in Equestria?  Am I honestly expected to believe that magic is needed to raise the sun and moon when clearly our fucking planet rotates around the sun and the moon rotates around our fucking planet?!  It's bad enough that this show has no logic, but the way Tirek keeps up with his scheme, assuming the bat-shit crazy logic of Equestria still applies, eventually he's gonna have nothing left to rule over, except a barren wasteland.  Think about it.  Without anything, all the ponies would die eventually and he can't manipulate them to do his bidding.  All he would be left with is his own power and greed with nothing else.  How nonsensical is that?


I also recall that the Everfree Forest seems to be the one thing that actually has the proper logic of nature applied.  Back in the episode "Bridle Gossip", it's mentioned that plants grow on their own and animals fend and forage for themselves, clouds move on their own (seriously, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash have the gall to say that's unnatural?), and the fact that Zecora lives there spooked the fuck out of the Ponyville denizens.  With the Everfree Forest bending to nature being considered scary, that also just has no rhyme or reason.  You know what I think?  When the writers decided to apply Equestrian logic, I don't think they thought everything through, especially coming up with bull-fuck like this.  I know this series is meant for kids, but it just seems to be testing what little intelligence these writers think they have.  Kids learn about the fucking solar system in their early years of school and our planet is NOT the center of the fucking universe!  Does the staff honestly care so little and think kids are stupid enough not to care about Equestria's insane logic and they throw any nonsensical shit at them and get away with it?  I don't think it's our place to underestimate the intelligence of a child and worse, if bronies aren't fazed by this apparent lack of logic and aren't questioning it like I am, it means that this series has more or less suckered them in, yanking them by their penises on a hook, and taken away half their brains.  Then again, that would explain their behaviors on fan forums and such, especially seeing that they're most likely willing to hump any material that's considered pony.

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Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Picking Apart "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", Season 4 Episodes 25 & 26 - Act I

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WARNING! This post contains explicit content.  It is advised not to proceed unless you are an adult and you really, really mean it.  If you don't want to take me seriously, fine.  But I cannot be responsible for any offense.

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So Twilight wants to find her purpose in life because she's a princess without a title.  Oh yeah, I'm sure what kind of destiny those God-awful bronies want for her.

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Fortunately, we don't get that.  So what's next?  A musical number to tell us that Twilight's bummed, which we already know, and have the other three princesses assure her that she'll have a role soon enough?


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And that's not necessarily saying that it's a problem or anything.  ...Well, the entire Season 4 finale is one big problem unto itself, but this song isn't God-awful or anything.  It's just pointless.  And I'll get to why that is in a bit.  But first, the horrible plot rears it's ugly head.

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I should point out that the G1 version of Scorpan was a friend of Spike from G1 and Tirek's servant, corrupted into working for him.  Tirek had threatened Scorpan that he would behead Spike otherwise.  Kind of dark, yes... but a much more interesting plot, even if it is the blackmail cliche.
Also, Scorpan's true form was a human prince!  Hmph... Tirek and Scorpan brothers in G4...  What a load.


Okay, so Tirek has apparently been out of Tartarus ever since the events of the Season 2 episode "It's About Time", gradually recovering his strength overtime.  So if he wants all the Equestrian magic for himself, and he keeps growing in size and strength with each helping, adding on that any unicorn who tries to fight back would have its magic sucked out of its semen like a vacuum cleaner, that would make him unstoppable.  Hell, he's as good as already!  What have you done, Meghan McCarthy?!  What have you done?!  A one-sided power-hungry bloodthirsty villain?!  That's turning him into a fucking Mary sue!!  No, I'm fucking serious!!  Tirek is a fucking God-awful Mary sue!!  Since when did the staff decide they wanted the bad guys to win in their own show?


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So do you now get why that musical number was entirely pointless?  All three other princesses clearly said that Twilight would 'get her chance', as it were, but when opportunity knocks, Celestia decides to send Discord to do her dirty work instead.  This in turn just made that whole song completely pointless.  See what the problem is here, people?

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It seems that Discord suggests that the answers Twilight seeks are connected to that... chest thingy with six locks.  And... I'm sorry to keep straying from the story like this, but I just have to throw this in.

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But anyways, Discord had apparently been keeping track of the progresses of the Mane 6, still selfish and conceited, except for Fluttershy.  So the Mane 6 all take a trip to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, hoping to do an extensive research on that box thingy, everything but look in Discord's book because they believe he wasn't being helpful.

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Oh yeah, it doesn't take an absent-minded mentally disabled nutzo with half a brain to figure out where this is going.  So as you can imagine, Discord decides to screw this thing called friendship because he didn't exactly have it to begin with and decides to join Tirek in his selfish conquest for... freedom, as he puts it.  I hope they win.

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