Friday, June 22, 2012

Picking Apart "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", Season 1 Episodes 1 & 2

I love anime-styled animation.  One of the greatest things about Japanese media is their limitless imagination and creativity, as well as being able to pull off such amazing feats, including anime cartoons and CGI video games.  Over here in North America, animators are able to do just as well with CGI and cartoons, but what they seem to lack is anime or anime style.  It's true that anime only originates in Japan, but who's to say animators here in the west are not eligible to give it a try?  We have various anime fans and conventions, yet no one seems to grow up to be able to animate the way anime cartoons do.  So why do I love anime?  It's not because animators get too lazy when making their characters speak as if they're in some kind of foreign film, but because of the facial expressions, the epic backgrounds, and excellent story plots.  Now North American animation is in fact capable of anime style as there are such animations performed in cartoons, albeit very few.  But the one cartoon that stands out above the very few and the very proud, as far as I see, is the 2010 cartoon My Little Pony:  Friendship is Magic.

Take a look at the way character facial expressions are animated.  Look how big and small their eyes get.  Look at all the emotions they show.
There's laughter...
...there's crying, both the comedy kind and the serious kind...  Anime characters use these kinds of expressions and emotions all the time.  So you might say this show is like one of the few that gets as close as it gets to actual North American anime.
So you might ask, "Why pick this show apart?"

Well, as an art school student, I understand perfectly that animation is one of the most crucial factors in media today, but of course there's a whole lot more to look for than just that.  There are plot elements, stories, pacing, timing, quality, sometimes continuity, and even in some cases the characters themselves.  Now personally, I give credit where credit is due regarding this show's animation (definitely) and sometimes the characters, but what I really give props for in the latest franchise of My Little Pony is by far its superior animation.  So what makes everything else in the show not quite so good?  Well, that's where I begin to pick this series apart, episode by painful episode.

First of all, just exactly what is a "brony"?  Well, it basically defines a male teen or young adult who is a fan of My Little Pony:  Friendship is Magic, seeing as the show is mainly meant to target young girls as an audience.  Now here's the lowdown from Wikipedia:

"The show has been critically praised for its humor and moral outlook. Despite the target demographic of young girls, Friendship Is Magic has gained a large following of older viewers, predominately teenagers and young adults, largely male, who call themselves "bronies". Reasons for this unintended appreciation include Faust and her team's creative writing and characterization, the expressive Flash-based animation style, themes that older audiences can appreciate, and a reciprocal relationship between Hasbro, the creators, and the fans. Elements of the show have become part of the remix culture and have formed the basis for a variety of Internet memes."


Yeah, I can see we got quite a number of happy campers as a result.

Now the show itself has been developed by Lauren Faust, apparently known for her work on The Powerpuff Girls and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, who decided that this show wouldn't just be girly in its entirety in which characters do girly things.  Instead, the franchise gets introduced to adventures and action, albeit partially in some cases, mainly stuff that came out of how she envisioned her own pony adventures.  And the show eventually got to where it is today, surprisingly popular amongst older audiences as well as young children.  Lauren Faust also got to be the executive producer for the first season and the first two episodes of Season 2, after which she is now currently a consulting producer for the series.  She also wrote the first two episodes of Season 1 and co-wrote the third episode, "The Ticket Master", along with Amy Keating Rogers.

Now the only objection I have to the formation of bronies in general is that they run the risk of being called gross names such as "pervert" or even "pedophile", which is generally unfair for a lot of reasons, the first being that those who call them such names are quick to jump the gun and overprotect their daughters from these crazy bastards.  Of course as we all know, this stuff has never happened, and I highly doubt any reports of young girl kidnappings, molestings, or other barbaric shit up and down the country have had any ties to perpetrators acquiring their lust through typical cartoons.  So without further ado, I will briefly review each and every episode so far and discuss its ups and downs from my personal opinion, nothing more.  But this kind of stuff is important to me, as I look for these elements in pretty much any form of media so I can learn from it and be able to make my own with very few flaws and mistakes, or as little as possible.  This time, I'm going to cover the two-part series debut, also known as the pilot episodes, "Friendship is Magic".   And here we go!  Part 1!

Friendship is Magic, Part 1 (a.k.a. The Mare in the Moon)
So the series begins with...a fairytale narration...  Wait, isn't "once upon a time" a little too classic?  Pardon me for saying so, but that's just me, probably because I've heard the phrase one too many times.  Anyways, you might wanna listen to the whole story carefully because the sister bit will be brought up again in Part 2.

Narrator: Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together, and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies. But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The ponies relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness: Night Mare Moon. She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night. Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister, and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility [fades out] for both sun and moon...

Twilight Sparkle: ...and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since.

Hmm... okay, not bad.  Not a bad story, good concept, a bit of a classic case of sun versus moon, but it'll do.  Oh, and what's a series without a theme song to go with it?


(My Little Pony)
I used to wonder what friendship could be
(My Little Pony)
Until you all shared its magic with me
Okay, this is definitely a girlish kind of song to say the least, so how did bronies get into this series to begin with?  Well, this is just the theme song, so I guess the episodes and their contents won them over.

Okay, so we learn that the main character is a bookworm unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, who seems to throw away practically everything else in her life apart from her studies.  So you can imagine several other ponies about her age think that she never has time to even make friends, and maybe even think she's a bit snooty.


Twinkleshine: Does that pony do anything except study? I think she's more interested in books than friends.

Now, this sounds very familiar, as in "right-out-of-another-film" familiar.  How many of you have seen Disney's The Princess and the Frog?


I've seen this film several times, and in it, the main character, Tiana, is practically a workaholic with two back-to-back full time jobs.  See, she's trying to earn enough money to purchase this sugar mill just so she can refurbish it into her very own restaurant and fulfill her late father's dream.  The problem is, she's been doing practically nothing else but work her butt off as a waitress.  Even her mother tries to tell her that finding what's really important, that is to say love and family, is the only thing that really matters, but Tiana simply shrugs it off.  But at the end of the film, she realizes she had lost sight of the thing that matters most and after learning her lesson, she is still able to achieve her dream.  Makes for a nice touch of Disney magic.

So what does this have to do with Twilight?  Well for one, it means that she's obviously gonna learn pretty much the same lesson instead of having her muzzle stuck in a book all the time.  So at some point, she's gonna end up making some real friends.


And the opening song lyrics seal this pseudo-spoiler in stone.  So, I'm just gonna shut up here and we'll all see how it happens.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Spi-ike!


Just kidding!  So we get introduced to this baby dragon named Spike who is apparently Twilight's assistant.  Before you ask, we will learn how this happened, but not until Episode 23, so you might wanna hold your horses until then.  Well that joke doesn't really work because technically there are no horses in this series.  Anyways, Spike gets Twilight this book and she reads what she wants to know.

Twilight Sparkle: Elements, Elements, E, E, E... Aha! Elements of Harmony, see: Mare in the Moon?
Spike: Mare in the Moon? But that's just an old ponies' tale.
Twilight Sparkle: Mare, mare... aha! The Mare in the Moon, myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal!
One thing's for sure, this series does have a lot of pun names (Mare in the Moon, Canterlot, Hoofington, Manehattan, Trottingham, Fillydelphia, Las Pegasus).  Well, Twilight discovers that this Mare in the Moon and Night Mare Moon are in fact one and the same and that she's apparently due to be released from her prison on some thousandth year of a Summer Sun Celebration or something,  so she has Spike send a letter to her mentor, Princess Celestia, and we see that Spike has a rather cool way of sending and receiving letters.  Well, at least it gets the job done in the blink of an eye.  Maybe this is how he became Twilight's assistant.

Spike: But I wouldn't hold your breath...
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm not worried, Spike. The Princess trusts me completely. In all the years she's been my mentor she's never once doubted me.
Huh, is that so?  Well, you know what?  Celestia doubting Twilight actually does happen once in this series so far, just not in this episode.  In fact, it doesn't happen until way later, and when it does, it leads to one of several factors that ultimately ruin the series completely.  But no worries just yet because, you know, this is only the first episode.  We're not gonna whine and fuss just yet.  So Spike then reads Celestia's response letter.

Spike: You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely.
Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hm!
Spike: ...but you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!  My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying... ...make some friends!
Spike: Look on the bright side, Twilight. The Princess arranged for you to stay in a library. Doesn't that make you happy?
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, yes it does.
Whoa, wait, stop!  Hold the phone!  Do you know what Twilight said just now?  The way those words are said is exactly the way those "too young" lines are said in the TV series Phineas and Ferb.  I can't believe this series would make a nod to it, never mind that the cartoon first aired some three years before this one.  Or maybe this is a coincidence.  What do I know?  So anyway, it seems that Celestia, after all these years apparently, is now trying to tell Twilight what I'd already gathered from The Princess and the Frog, to find out what's really important, much more so than a bunch of books.  So Twilight and Spike are sent to Ponyville to see how things are running in light of this Summer Sun Celebration.

Twilight Sparkle: ...but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends.

Au contraire, Twilight Sparkle.  You see, we don't know until the next episode, but friendship is actually everything in order to save Equestria from certain doom.  Looks like Spike is all for Twilight making friends and coaxes her to give it a chance.  But what happens is...


That.

Well, so much for getting acquainted, so it's on to overseeing preparations.  Man, just how much longer is Twilight gonna stave off getting a life?


Now this is where the fun begins.  See, we're introduced to this cowgirl pony named Applejack, who I think has got to be the coolest gal in the whole series.


Check her out.  She's got a Southern accent, she's physically strong (this is demonstrated not only when she's shown capable of rear-ending a tree and knocking off every single one of its apples, but also when she seizes Twilight's hoof and pumps it up and down with invigorating force), she's tremendously athletic, she's one of the best bakers in Ponyville, she takes pride in her work, she's exceptionally loyal and reliable, she's down-to-earth, and she's remarkably stylish with her blonde mane and tail tied up in ponytails.

Wow...  I like her.  No, seriously, I do!  She's really cool!  Just look at her!  I can just picture her strumming an instrument and singing some good ol' country music songs.


Mister fireman, won't you please listen to me
'Cause I got a sweet d
addy down in Tennessee
Keep movin' it on, keep rollin'
along

Well, when Twilight decides to check on the food, Applejack takes the liberty of introducing her to the entire Apple family.

Wow, look at them all.  Yeah, I know some of them appear to be carbon copies of each other, but I guess that's just to be expected, even in the greatest of animation.

Applejack: This here's Apple Fritter.
Apple Bumpkin.
Red Gala.
Red Delicious...
...Golden Delicious...
...Caramel Apple...
...Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp...
...Big Macintosh...
Apple Bloom...
 ...and Granny Smith.


We learn later that the last three mentioned are the only ones who actually live on the farm with Applejack.  Now Twilight is still eager to go and resume her so-called mission, but...


Apple Bloom: Aren't you gonna stay for brunch?

Look at that.  Now I ask you, how can you possibly say no to a face like that?  Well, allow Twilight Sparkle to demonstrate.

Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do...

But she reluctantly stays for a bit longer anyway.  Now here's a fun fact.  I counted some 25 ponies in the Apple family (there may possibly be more), but only twelve of them have been named.  Maybe the script didn't have time to name them all or they ran out of ideas for apple-related names.

Well, I hate to leave on Applejack, but I have to move on here.  The next main character we're introduced to is a Pegasus named Rainbow Dash.  Now here's what bugs me about this gal.

She's voiced by Ashleigh Ball, Canadian voice actress and lead singer and flautist in the jazz and pop band Hey Ocean!, and although she's now well known for her starring role in this series as Rainbow Dash, never mind that she also voices Applejack, she makes Rainbow Dash sound practically like a young boy.

Rainbow Dash: The one and only.

Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts!

Rainbow Dash: ...and I'm gonna show 'em my stuff!

Now I know that some voice actresses are capable of doing this and although Rainbow Dash is described as a tomboy, why make Rainbow Dash sound like a boy?  She's a female Pegasus and she's voiced by a girl.  Why can't she sound more like a girl?  Maybe it's because of her adventurous streak or something.  Now I have no real objections to this or anything, but I get fooled into thinking she's a dude.  Every.  Single.  Time.  So the only thing so far that tells me she's female is that she has eyelashes and she's in fact a fan girl of these Wonderbolts, best fliers in Equestria.

Well, after she gives Twilight Sparkle a makeover, it's time to move on from the weather to decorations.  And that's when we meet...

...the lovely Rarity.

Spike: Beautiful...

She's a unicorn like Twilight, so she also uses magic, and she apparently has an extreme sense of fashion.
Rarity: Too green.
Too yellow.
Too poofy.
Not poofy enough.
Too frilly.
Too... shiny.
Well, she certainly sounds ladylike, kinda like she could be the eldest or most mature of the six main characters.  She fixes up Twilight's mane, which had been messed up previously by Rainbow Dash, but Twilight decides to get the hell out before Rarity does anything crazy.

Oh, and it seems that Spike gets a crush on Rarity.  Don't ask, he just does.  Next up, the music!  That's when meet the Pegasus version of Snow White.  Her name is Fluttershy, and she's basically talented with animals and has this sweet yet soft-spoken voice.

Fluttershy: Um... I'm Fluttershy.

And as her name suggests, she's very quiet and shy... that is, until she lays eyes on Spike and having never seen a baby dragon before, she wants to know all about him.  Spike milks all the attention he gets much to the chagrin of Twilight, who interrupts them when they arrive at the library.

But she's not out of the woods yet!  It seems that the denizens of Ponyville were hiding in the library and they've thrown a surprise party to welcome her!   And wouldn't you know it?  She's still not too thrilled.  Oh, God, when is she ever gonna warm up to the meaning of life?

So now we meet Pinkie Pie, and as it turns out, she had wigged out earlier because Twilight was new to Ponyville and she decided to do what she does best - throw a party!  Now let's hear what she has to say.

Pinkie Pie: Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were ya? Were ya? Huh huh huh?
Twilight Sparkle: Very surprised. Libraries are supposed to be quiet.
Pinkie Pie: Well, that's silly! What kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! Y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember?
Y'see I never saw you before and if I never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville! And if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea...
I just throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! See? And now you have lots and lots of friends!
Okaaaaaay...  Well, she's voiced by Andrea Libman, Canadian actress, television writer, and singer well known for her roles in the film version of Little Women, Andre, and her guest appearance in The X-Files.  She also voices Fluttershy in this series as well.
She also previously did the voice of Cathy from the TV series Monster Buster Club.  Now quite frankly, I can pick out the similarities in voices between Cathy and Pinkie and in some cases how fast they both talk.

But back to Pinkie Pie.  From what I've gathered so far, in comparison to the other main characters, she seems to be rather ditzy as well as a chatterbox.  But she's also shamelessly fun-loving and usually showing her happy side, not to mention she's apparently immune to the effects of spicy stuff.

Twilight Sparkle: All the ponies in this town are crazy!


*sigh* Spoken like a bookworm.
Spike: You really should lighten up, Twilight. It's a party!
Twilight Sparkle: [mocks] You really should lighten up, Twilight. It's a party!
Ah geez, what's with this gal?  Even Spike has been telling her to get a life.

Oh, I'm not done with Pinkie Pie yet.  See, she also seems to have an oblivious side.  For example, she wants to play guessing games both when Princess Celestia is a no-show for the Summer Sun Celebration and also when Night Mare Moon finally arrives.

Pinkie Pie: Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games! Is she hiding?
Pinkie Pie: Um, Hokey Smokes! How about... Queen Meanie! No! Black Snooty...

Speaking of Night Mare Moon, she returns after a thousand-year absence and of course, Twilight Sparkle, her worst fears realized, is the only one who recognizes her, and as usual, she threatens to create everlasting nighttime.  And that leads us into Part 2, in which all of these loose ends get resolved one way another.


Friendship is Magic, Part 2 (a.k.a. Elements of Harmony)
The second episode starts off with the mayor of Ponyville ordering the guards to dispatch Night Mare Moon.  Yeah... like they even stood a chance.  Good job, Mayor Mare.  But the whole thing is done as a Disney rip-off of Sleeping Beauty when the evil Maleficent inflicts a curse on Princess Aurora.
Mayor: Seize her!
Night Mare Moon: Stand back, you foals!
What did I tell you?  Please don't tell me this series is gonna lack originality.
Oh, great.  The things I have to put up with.

Anyways, Spike is put to bed and Twilight explains to the other five main characters about Night Mare Moon and that only these six Elements of Harmony are capable of defeating her.  They then learn through one of the library's books that the elements are in a tower located in the Everfree Forest.


And off they go!  Now here, Night Mare Moon attempts to ward off the six heroes, but they end up overcoming her obstacles by simply representing the elements they are destined for.

First up is Applejack.  When a ledge beneath their feet breaks, she assures Twilight to let go of the edge, which she does and is then saved by both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.  This in turn makes Applejack represent honesty.


Next up is Fluttershy and we learn that there are other mythical creatures in the series besides Pegasus, and unicorns.  In this case, the group encounters a wild manticore.  Fluttershy is able to soothe the manticore by helping pluck out a thorn stuck in its paw.  For taming the beast, Fluttershy represents kindness.

The third obstacle is a bunch of trees with sinister faces, but all they really do is give our heroes the heebie-jeebies... well, except for Pinkie Pie, who laughs at them.  Now she may seem to be oblivious to the so-called danger, but then she starts to sing about how to face fears, which becomes the first song in the series.


She said, "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall
Learn to face your fears
You'll see that they can't hurt you
Just laugh to make them disappear."
Ha! Ha! Ha!
So they all start laughing at the trees... and it works!  Well, the song wasn't too bad, I guess, but it does tell me (and hopefully everyone else) one last thing about Pinkie.  Despite being somewhat of a ditz and having a bubbly and light-headed personality, she's definitely not stupid.  She knew what to do in this circumstance and she helped her friends get out of it.  So from what we've gathered, she definitely represents laughter.

Next our heroes meet this giant serpent who's all fussy because Night Mare Moon cut off half of his mustache.  Don't ask, we all know it was her who did it.  Anyways, Rarity takes the whole thing as a fashionable offense and in a swift move, sacrifices her own tail to give him a new one.  Now while Rarity may represent generosity here, is anyone willing to believe that she's gonna do this sort of thing more than just this one time?

Lastly, the group comes to a fallen bridge, which looks simple enough to fix, that is for Rainbow Dash at least.  He... I mean, she proceeds to, but is then stopped by of Night Mare Moon's illusions, three dark Pegasus who call themselves Shadowbolts.
They offer to make her their captain in exchange for abandoning her friends, so she has to make a choice.  Obviously, she chooses to fix the bridge and help her friends, saying:
Rainbow Dash: See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'. 


And for that, adding on her clearing the skies of Ponyville earlier, she represents loyalty, but of course this still leaves one element left.  What does Twilight herself represent?


Well, inside the castle, they find five of the elements and Twilight Sparkle tries to create this spark of some kind, hoping for at least a revelation, but then Night Mare Moon, who obviously isn't about to just roll over, intervenes and steals the elements.  Twilight gives chase and the two of them are whisked away to another chamber and confront each other in a final showdown... in a game of chicken.

Night Mare Moon: You're kidding. You're kidding, right?


Yeah, I know, Night Mare Moon.  I really wish I was making that up.  Well, Night Mare Moon destroys the elements and again gets all Maleficent, saying:
Night Mare Moon: You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me?

And that's when Twilight hears the others calling to her and sees them coming and realizes that the six of them are in fact true friends.  Again, this is nearly identical to The Princess and the Frog because the main characters in both situations learn what's really important right during their respective confrontation scenes with the antagonists.

Twilight uses the power of her newfound friendship to summon the sixth element, which is called Magic for some reason, and they create the Rainbow Bridge Bifrost to defeat Night Mare Moon.

Rarity's tail is restored, the sun rises, and Princess Celestia herself appears to congratulate the victors.  It turns out that friendship was in fact necessary to harness the elements and save Equestria.  Imagine that.

Also, Night Mare Moon wasn't just defeated, she ends up getting restored back to her former self, Princess Luna, and Celestia reveals that they are sisters.


"Sister?"

Wait... wait just a minute...  Why are they surprised?  Why is even Twilight surprised?  She read the story from the beginning of the first episode, right?  Did she not know that the elder sister was Celestia?  Well, that can't be because she knew Celestia was originally going to raise sun during the Summer Sun Celebration, so... what's the deal?  Why the surprise?  As far as I'm concerned, at least Twilight should not have been surprised.  Well, I sure as hell hope none of the viewers were surprised because I wasn't.

So Celestia offers to take Luna back with her, to which she agrees, and the two share a tearful reunion.

Back in Ponyville, Pinkie throws another party to welcome Princess Luna back to the land of the living and the episode ends with Celestia assigning Twilight a new mission to study the magic of friendship and having her stay in Ponyville with her new friends.


Okay, so we're looking at a show initially directed towards young girls as an audience owing to the characters and that much of Ponyville's denizens are female, and it's meant to teach viewers the many meanings of friendship.  Quite honestly, I thought Disney's Toy Story series covered that well enough.  The concept of the magic of friendship sounds slightly girlish, but apparently, there's plenty of cultural references that have proven to appease older audiences as well.  Perhaps this series could be shared with the whole family, as long as teenage boys and young men my age don't get fingers pointed at them and being called perverts of pedophiles or anything off the cup.  Well, if there's anything this show reigns supreme in, as in better than anything else, it's the animation, now and forevermore.  I just love 2D animation.  Don't you?

"Hmph...   Animation, reigning supreme... now and forevermore...  Better than the rest?  Well, the Chazz is gonna find out for just how much longer!  Now gimme the cheer!  Chazz... it... up!"

2 comments:

  1. Hmm.. This is a very interesting article. I highly appreciate that you wrote this in order to shine light on the evil franchise that is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I was tempted to even engage in activities involving this show. However, such activities are now cancelled due to its high motivation for pedophilia and acts which seem perverse, or include porn-loving, butt-raping barbarism. I thank you for such information and to show my gratitude I will appoint you as the head of my new group, Anti-Brony Federation of the World, where we appreciate good anime cartoons and manga, as well as other child appropriate entertainment including, but not limited to, Phineas and Ferb, Little Einsteins, Land Before Time, and Sonic X. Again, thank you for the great article.

    -Luka Magnotta

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    1. Uh... thanks? You know, I highly doubt MLP is the only cartoon that "promotes" these gross things you speak of. Mind you, I do detest such artwork that shows yucky stuff.

      I've seen episodes from Land Before Time and Phineas and Ferb as well as every single episode from the English dub of Sonic X.

      Well, all I'm really doing is just pointing out the things that make MLP animation superior above everything else in the show. I plan to cover all of the episodes so far.

      Say, do you really think bronies are being fans just as an excuse to do dirty things? It does sound probable, mind you. Fortunately, I don't think I'm cut out to be one.

      -The Thunder

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